I Think Johnny Knows

Does anybody know the pain

Thirsting for knowledge standing in the rain

A dark cloud hangs over my head

My mind races my heart feels with Dread

I think Johnny knows

about the darkness in my soul

How can it be

Is he singing about me

Does anybody know how it feels

The crutch I lean on is a bottle of pills

My skin itches does anybody see

I’m a broken board adrift on the sea

I think Johnny knows

About the darkness in my soul

How can it be

Is he singing about me

Underneath the willow tree

I think about the person I wanted to be

Midnight moon casts an eerie glow

My eyes follow the big river as it flows

I think Johnny knows

About the darkness in my souls

He must still walk the line

Through all space and time

Like a tear stained lullaby

Here I stand and cry, cry, cry

Like a train coming down the track

Here’s to the man in black

 

 

 

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Break down slowly

Some people go insane, because of too much pain and suffering

Tired of being tough, tired of putting up, trying to fix everything

Loved ones may claim, it is a sudden change, an instant breakdown

For some it could be, but as for me, its a steady decline I have found

 

I break down slowly, a little at a time

Those that know me assume I am fine

But they don’t see what lingers in my heart

I break down slowly, day by day I fall apart

 

Over time the stress accumulates, so I isolate, and quietly drift

The reality in my mind, but I find that I am losing grip

Some call it arrogance, I keep my distance, but it is my shame

Not close to notice, that I lose focus, staring at the flame

 

I break down slowly, a little at a time

Those that know me assume I am fine

But they don’t see what lingers in my heart

I break down slowly, day by day I fall apart

 

I start to let things go, I lose control, my life is on the shelf

Easily I disconnect, and I reflect, when did I lose myself

Will I get it back, will I get on track, and overcome my pain

I sit alone and cry, and I wonder why, some people go insane

 

I break down slowly, a little at a time

Those that know me assume I am fine

But they don’t see what lingers in my heart

I break down slowly, day by day I fall apart

I Take Another Pill

I have a problem and it’s real

But I like the way it makes me feel

I should quit and one day I will

But for now, I take another pill

I have thoughts I cannot find

I wonder what I’ve left behind

Everyday I wreck my mind

As the chemicals, they bind

I have a problem and it’s real

But I like the way it makes me feel

I would quit but I have no will

So for now, I take another pill

I hope no one will recognize

No one will see it in my eyes

Cover my tracks with my lies

And I don’t even feel that high

I have a problem and it’s real

But I like the way it makes me feel

I should quit and one day I will

But for now, I take another pill

A crowded room, I feel alone

Monthly rations almost gone

If they knew what was going on

I am sure they would cast stones

I have a problem and it’s real

But I like the way it makes me feel

I would quit if I had the will

But for now, I take another pill

Already I am filled with dread

I know the pain that lies ahead

Withdraw to my torture bed

And I will feel like I am half dead

I have a problem and it’s real

But I like the way it makes me feel

I should quit and one day I will

But for now, I take another pill

The Oaks Turn Red

The blade of a knife

The blood of a life

A scream that seems to echo off the wall

So deep and so real

Crimson covered steel

Time slows as they watch the weapon fall

The Oaks turn red tonight

The end of their final fight

Sirens sing a song of dread

Tonight the oaks turn red

A bottle of pills

Like blood that spills

He sees no reason now not to take them all

“I never meant harm”

He holds her in his arms

One last embrace, and his tears freely fall

The Oaks turn red tonight

The end of their final fight

Sirens sing a song of dread

Tonight the oaks turn red

He crushes and inhales

Before his trip to jail

Leaves the empty bottle lying on the floor

I hope to see you, soon

Finally have our honeymoon

Now the police are banging on the door

The oaks turn red tonight

The end of their final fight

Sirens sing a song of dread

Tonight the oaks turn red

Pitter-Patter of The Falling Rain

Have you ever been depressed for no reason at all

Or grabbed a bush of thorns just to break the fall

Sitting here today, I’m not doing much at all

Outside my window the rain continues to fall

Outside my window the rain falls down

I close my eyes and meditate on the sound

May I recover, may I overcome this pain

I listen to the pitter-patter of the falling rain

Sleepless nights I have had most of the week

Fumble in my drowsiness for the dream that I seek

No dream to be found, my future is bleak

But there is an inheritence to be had by the meek

Outside the window the rain falls down

I close my eyes and meditate on the sound

May I recover, may I overcome this pain

I listen to the pitter-patter of the falling rain

I don’t know the future, I question the past

There is no way of knowing how long this will last

Some days go by slow and some go by fast

I lie in the shadows that my memories cast

Outside my window the rain falls down

I close my eyes and meditate on the sound

May I recover, may I overcome this pain

I listen to the pitter-patter of the falling rain

Nation of the Great Divide

The bitter fruits of our heart

Tell the world who we are

This is the land of great divide

Each person assumes a side

Lets prepare ourselves to fall

Since everybody knows it all

Puffed up by our own pride

Nation of the great divide

It isn’t always black and white

We invent new enemies to fight

The wicked heart stays the same

Looks for someone else to blame

What is left when no one’s right

All dark days lead to the night

Prepare ourselves for our demise

For we are wise in our own eyes

The evil ways of a generation

Conspiracies and Obama nation

“Millennial” is spoken as an insult

Flat Earth, Fake News, Facebook cult

The bitter fruits of our heart

Tell the world who we are

Behind our talking points we hide

The nation of the great divide

Tiny Soldiers

She said, “Daddy, I want a new pair of shoes”

I said “The ones you have are almost brand new”

She wants a different pair to wear to school

Do other kids no longer find these cool?

You love them, they light up when you run,

“But Daddy, how will I hide from someone with a gun?”

Her sad voice echoed through my broken heart

Oh God is this really how things are

When did our schools become a battlefield

Parents mourn over sons and daughters killed

Waging a war that started at Columbine

We march our tiny soldiers to frontlines

I want to tell her everything will be okay

I open my mouth, can’t find the words to say

I reach out and hold my daughter in my arms

We pray that God will keep her safe from harm

When did our schools become a battlefield

Parents mourn over sons and daughters killed

Waging a war that started at Columbine

We march our tiny soldiers to frontlines

She walked into the school turned to wave goodbye

I hope she didn’t see the tears I began to cry

I drive away and think of all that is on the news

I heard a father mad as hell, and I think that I am too

When did our schools become a battlefield

Parents mourn over sons and daughters killed

Waging a war that started at Columbine

We march our tiny soldiers to frontlines

We argue politics from the sidelines

But march our tiny soldiers to the frontlines

Throwing Rocks At A Parakeet

Growing up, my family had a lot of birds. We had parakeets, cockatiels, love birds, and finches. They started out as pets, but as they procreated we soon began selling to the local pet stores. At one point we had more than sixty parakeets living in our house. My favorite bird was a blue parakeet named Percy. He could talk, saying things like ‘pretty bird’ and ‘hello’ and several other words that have slipped my memory. The most memorable thing about Percy is that he was caught in the wild.

Parakeets are not native to the skies of East Tennessee. Yet, during my childhood there were several instances in which a stray one happened to fly into our neighborhood. My mom was particularly skilled at catching the feathered creatures.

All of the birds we caught were likely former pets. They had either escaped or been released by their owner. Either way, surviving a strange new environment would have been difficult for a former pet.

I had a neighbor named Robert. He was a big man, “six-foot-nine and a quarter,” he told everyone. He weighed about 350, had a beard like Santa Claus. Robert had a noticeable stutter that was magnified anytime he got excited about something.

One day the phone rang and my mom answered. I was across the room but could hear an excited voice on the line, “Na…Na…Na…Nancy…B…b….b….b…bird, it’s a, it’s a, it’s a p…it’s a pa” Another stray parakeet had found its way to our neighborhood. This one was in a tree in Robert’s front yard. He knew that my mom was the person to call for help.

We walked across the street and saw our neighbor looking up at the tree. He was too close to it and talking too loudly. He was about to scare it away. He backed away from the tree and my mom took over.

She began her bird whispering, and it appeared to be working. The feral parakeet was interested and hopped a few branches closer. After a while, we walked to our house to retrieve an empty bird cage. All we asked of Robert was that he keep an eye on the bird, to let us know if it flew to another tree.

When we returned with the cage and some food, we found Robert back under the tree. He was talking to the bird trying to convince it to come to him. “Get down here!” And then in a move that still makes absolutely no sense to me, he picked up some small rocks of gravel, and tossed them and the bird. He chunked the rocks at the bird while saying “get down here pretty bird!” Needless to say, the frightened bird flew away never to be seen again. I still laugh when I think about it. He had no idea that he had done anything to scare the bird.

This story came to my mind today as I picked up a pamphlet beside a vending machine. The pamphlet had a picture of the devil on the front cover, red with horns and a pitchfork. Inside was a story about Halloween and how Satan’s followers are killing teenagers in sacrifice. It tells that all are destined for hell and gives a list of wicked things being done in this generation. My paraphrase of the track is like this: “bad thing, bad things, hellfire, brimstone, everlasting doom unless you believe in Jesus right now at this moment because you might die immediately after reading this.”

Throwing rocks at a parakeet.

The tone of approach we use in general conversation, in public discourse, or on social media is often inappropriate. I remember the perplexed look on Robert’s face. He threw rocks at a bird and wondered why it flew away. We often cast stones at nonbelievers and wonder why they don’t want to hear about Jesus.

Do you know why parakeets always showed up at my house? Do you know how we saved them? We did not go out looking for birds. They heard the birds we already had. They heard the joyous singing of the parakeets that lived there. The singing attracted them. We did not cast stones at them and tell them that the world would kill them. We simply placed our other birds on the porch and left a door open. The wild parakeet could not help but be drawn in.

Maybe we should stop casting stones and start loving one another. Start celebrating the joy that we have in Christ. And we should leave the door open to all those that are drawn to us, and be ready to share the reason for our hope.

Let The Sun Rise

The sun came out for just a little while today

For a moment it broke through my sky of gray

The light lasted for just a little while

It fell upon my face and made me smile

I know that this frozen land will only last a season

Though I don’t understand, I know there is a reason

Let the sun rise and thaw my frozen heart

Let He that is within me, spring forth a new start

The light shone and it made me unafraid

I saw some green where only snow had laid

A little bit of hope was in each golden ray

I know that tomorrow will be better than today

I know that this frozen land will only last a season

Though I don’t understand, I know there is a reason

Let the sun rise and thaw my frozen heart

Let He that is within me, spring forth a new start

The sun came out for just a little while today

Now I know everything will be okay

This darkness we live in will soon pass away

Overcome by the light of a glorious day

My Inspiration

Why have you gone away

I need you here today

Give me the words to say

As I sit here alone

With you by my side

We did not have to try

We laughed and we cried

But I fear you are gone

Call it inspiration you are my muse

Writing without you is of no use

A familiar feeling hits me again

Words fall out of my pen

I need you here with me

My Whispering spree

Like the wind in the trees

Are you just in my head

Express the desires

That you have inspired

You are my inner fire

As I sit on the edge of my bed

Call it inspiration, you are my muse

Writing without you is of no use

A familiar feeling hits me again

And words fall out of my pen

Why have you gone away

I think you here today

Clear skies turn to grey

Reality hits me once more

Silence is sharp as a sword

I struggle for each word

Your whispers unheard

I am alone just as before

Call it inspiration, you are my muse

Writing without you is of no use

The familiar feeling leaves me again

The words vanish into the wind