I have had dreams at night of this day and have awakened screaming. Today I awoke to footsteps. Footsteps downstairs, but I should be the only one home. I lie still in the bed, fearing the sounds that have awakened me. I break the stillness momentarily to look at the clock beside my bed. The time – 7:03 AM. “My imagination, that’s all,” I try to convince myself and close my eyes.
But I hear the footsteps approaching the door to the staircase that leads to my room. They stop there and I hear the door slowly creek open. “Who’s there?” I shout as I search and find the pistol beside my bed. I need not ask, for I know who it is. I ask again, hoping that someone will answer. No one does.
I hear the footsteps begin to slowly climb the stairs to my bedroom. As the footsteps progress to the top of the stairs, I make sure my gun is loaded. I hear him stop as he enters my room. I don’t look, but I can feel his eyes upon me. It’s like he is just standing there taking in all of my fear – and enjoying it.
He walks directly to my bed. I know who he is! So, I grip the gun tightly. Finally I look at him. I look into his eyes. At this moment, staring Death in the eyes – I pull the trigger.
(I have to do a disclaimer. One of the effects of the social current we live in, is a low level of connective-ness. Always in contact, but never in community. This combined with lax moral regulations, set us up for increased suicides. The same would happen if we had overly rigid regulations coupled with very strong connective-ness. You were created by God for a purpose, and if you haven’t found that purpose – you have searching to do. Bleed out – not with bullets and blood, but with words on a page.)