Beaten, Battered, Changed

We’ve be beaten, battered, we are black and blue

It’s been a hard journey, but we made it through

Looking back through pictures of who we used to be

The past five years have forever changed you and me

https://www.gofundme.com/the-last-semester-of-seminary

 

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My dark-eyed, beautiful, muse

Creative binge or psychosis?

I come unhinged, will they notice?

Like Hemmingway and Van Gogh

The raven that tortured Poe

I try to bury it deep inside

But a tell-tale heart reveals my lies

Out of the noise in of my head

I heard a voice and she said

“I am your dark-eyed beautiful lady

I’ve seen your face and I know that you hate me

Try to forget me, but there is no use

You can’t write without me” – Your Muse

She placed my hands on her hips

Then slowly raised one to her lips

She blew her breath on my skin

Down my arm and into my pen

“I am your dark-eyed beautiful lady

I’ve seen your face and I know that you hate me

Try to forget me, but there is no use

You can’t write without me” – Your Muse

Life’s a double-edged sword

It’s a wonderful life for someone tonight. Someone’s happy like I should be.

Someone has it all and everything’s going right. Why can’t that be me?

Life’s a double-edged sword it will cut you every time

The wonders of the world could never be mine

Still I have the drive to fulfill this need

Never satisfied and never at peace

Death defeated by love divine

We were in a burning house. The dark cloud of death was upon us. Flames awaited us, and longed for our souls. But for mercy, our bodies consumed. By grace, our lives renewed. By His blood, death defeated.

Through the darkness, His light shone. Through the smoke, I saw the way.

Out of darkness, into light. Forgiveness for my wretched heart.

We were all once in chains, enslaved. Death was always in our midst. The flames of hell so desired our souls. But the chains of sin were broken, the moment I believed.

I pondered at a field of graves. I walked by and read the names. I envisioned there, our bodies lay: bones dry and turned to dust. But where would my soul be? Eternally condemned?

Then I went back in my mind to the darkness of the cloud of death. Bodies lying charred, but that did not happen. I imagine our bodies receiving the breath of life. I see them rising up like Lazarus, brought back from death.

Even though we never died, we were living while dead inside. Death had made an engagement, and waited eagerly for the consummation. Like hungry wolves, were the howls from the gates of hell.

Out of the Ashes, we learn to trust. We learn loss, and loneliness. And now we are standing here alive for the first time. I am yours and you are mine. We are redeemed to love divine.

A Stronger Man

When the enemy gets in your head

You start to beleive the lies he said

He wants you to think that you’re alone

Tries to convince you that hope is gone
But there lives in me a stronger man

I will live according to his plan

He will never leave me or forsake me

It is his blood that sets me free
Death you are have already met defeat

Serpent of Eden, the author of deceit. 

I listened to you, captivated by your charm

Enslaved by the things that bring me harm
But now lives in me is a stronger man

I will live according to his plan

He will never leave me or forsake me

It is His blood that sets me free
There lives in me a stronget man

No one can pluck me from His hand

By the power that raised him from the dead

I command you, “Get out of my head!”

Scars

I have scars left over from my younger days

I have scars that will never go away

I’ve got memories of every injury

and I’ve learned everything the hard way

Turn To Ashes

Every sound seems louder, every noise distracts

I have to close my eyes to remember where I’m at

Every touch smothers, feels like I can’t breathe

At times I want to run away, I want to scream

 

When the sirens wail and bright light flashes

Once again I see my world turn to ashes

I am consumed by the fear buried deep inside

Overcome by the anxiety I try so hard to hide

 

My thoughts, more scattered than they’ve ever been

I am much too old to play a game of pretend

I don’t have it all together and I accept I never will

I may be seen as broken but at least they know I’m real

 

When the sirens wail and bright light flashes

Once again I see my world turn to ashes

I am consumed by the fear buried deep inside

Overcome by the anxiety I try so hard to hide

 

I was barefoot on the street on a cold night

I stood and watched the flames kiss the sky

I tell everyone it was a blessing in disguise

But in my smoke-stained heart, I still wonder why

 

When the sirens wail and bright light flashes

Once again I see my world turn to ashes

I am consumed by the fear buried deep inside

Overcome by the anxiety I try so hard to hide

 

Colder

I can’t save for the future because I’m still paying for the past.

How long will this season, this endless winter, last?

Each day I get older

Each breathe a little colder

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