I sit here alone

Everything I see – is dead or dying

I throw my hands up – I’m tired of trying

To live or not to live – that is the question

Can’t make sense of life – amid the  contradiction

 

So I sit here alone

And I watch the smoke rise up to the ceiling

My dreams are all gone

I search for the words to convey the feeling

 

Everything I touch – it starts to crumble

The angels that fall – laugh when I stumble

To fall from this world into heaven or hell

Will God save my soul, I really cannot tell

 

So I sit here alone

And watch the smoke rise up to the ceiling

When my life is gone

Will another soul ever feel this feeling

 

Everyone I love – and all that I’ve lived for

Every sign I’ve seen – I have tried to ignore

To be shut out of life – a man with no reason

Held captive to myself – with my chains of freedom

 

I sit here alone

And watch the smoke rise up to the ceiling

My mind is all gone

Will another soul ever feel this feeling

 

(a disclaimer or sorts – this was written 5/2004 and does not reflect anything I am feeling today. The line ‘will God save my soul, I really cannot tell’ reflects the mindset of a 24 year old agnostic man, chasing things of this world to fill void in his heart. As a Christian, there in no doubt that God can save my soul. Even more, he already has. Reading this today reminded me of the struggle and how I made it through)

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